Harry Potter and the evil git
by Rangasrock-blondsrhot
Summary: dumbledore is possessed by an evil spirit and it is up to Harry and co to save the day. WARNING many many slashes and kinky relationships
1. Default Chapter

Harry Potter and the evil git.  
  
You-Know-Who's pissed off and we don't know why, Harry and co are going to make him cry. Dumbledore's old and he's getting high, he may be possessed by some evil guy!  
  
By Megan, Hayley and Jess.  
  
Dedicated to "BOM BOM" (Basil Brush) and to all badger lovers everywhere!  
  
Disclaimer: Everything Harry Potter related is either the property of J.K Rowling or Warner Bros.  
  
Rated 'R' for language and sexual situations  
  
A/N: Don't worry about our sing song things, just enjoy the story and please review.  
  
Chapter one  
  
DIRTY THOUGHTS...  
  
Harry Potter woke to find the sun shining through his cramped bedroom window illuminating his room. This morning Harry was particularly happy to be leaving Privet drive because this would be the last time he saw the Dursley's for quite a while. Harry was sick of Dudley's whining from being "starving" on the ozone diet, even though he ate two plates of breakfast and stole Harry's as well. Harry was very excited to be heading back to Hogwarts because Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter had indeed broken the ancient grudge between Slytherin and Gryffindor themselves. The outcome from this happened to be that Draco and Harry were now lovers and Gryffindors and Slytherins were the best of friends, or at least on speaking terms with each other. (Hermione Granger and Millicent Bullstrode tried but secretly attacked each other during dueling sessions.)  
  
Harry was pushed out of the Dursley's moving car only to find his best friends Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger standing there.  
  
"Hiya Harry," said Ron.  
  
"Hi Ronnie, hi Herm," said Harry giving them a 'oh-be-nice' hand movement.  
  
"Have you read the new textbooks?" said Hermione keenly.  
  
"Hermione, one of them is FIVE THOUSAND pages long! You can't seriou-"Ron stopped as though he was frozen.  
  
"Ron, are you okay?" Hermione poked him and tried to get his attention.  
  
"She's...gorgeous!" Ron muttered.  
  
"Um, quite a pick Ronnie, personally I prefer fellas. Oh look, talking of fellas there's Dean and Seamus. Dean! Seamus!" Harry called.  
  
Seamus dragged Dean to the group who had the very same look as Ron just had and his eyes were suspiciously in the direction of the two girls who had just gotten on to the train. "Man, she was a babe!" Dean said.  
  
"Yeah, talk about hot!" Ron said.  
  
Suddenly a sexy voice appeared from behind them.  
  
"Well, I have been working out you know. I do have to impress my boyfriend...Hey babe, miss me." Draco turned to Harry and kissed him right there on the lips.  
  
"For Merlin's sake, we saw you yesterday Draco!" Ron said.  
  
"Ah yes Ronnie, but when you are in love a day seems like a year," said Draco dreamingly grabbing Harry's arm and pulling him off to a deserted corner. (Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge.)  
  
The rest of the group followed, pulling Harry and Draco onto the train or they would have surely missed it. They found a free compartment and all six of them sat down, Harry and Draco practically on top of each other. The train left the station and they were all deep in conversation with each other when the compartment door slid open and there stood a very well filled out Ginny.  
  
"Hey guys, have you seen the four new sixth graders?" Ron and Dean looked at each other and winked.  
  
"Is everything okay there Seamus?" Ginny asked trying not to sound like she was worried even though she secretly fantasised about Seamus all summer.  
  
"Nothing Ginny, just um that you're um extremely pretty." Seamus muttered.  
  
Ginny went as red as the colour of her hair. Ginny grinned at Seamus and he invited her to sit down.  
  
Five minutes later there was another knock at the compartment door and the three new Quidditch coaches entered. Fred, George and Oliver Wood, who currently were attending Nemonian Wizard College and were studying Quidditch at Hogwarts. At least that's what Mrs. Weasley thought but Fred and George were planning to open a joke shop in Hogsmeade. Hermione noticed that both of the Weasley's had changed and in her opinion there was no finer person than Frederick Weasley. Meanwhile Fred was looking at Hermione in a new light, she had definitely grown in many many ways.  
  
Suddenly there was some seductive sexy voices coming from outside. Ron and Dean practically fell over each other trying to get to the door. They flung open the door and fell on the floor to see the hottest drop dead gorgeous girls in the whole of sixth grade.  
  
"They must the new girls," whispered Dean transfixed.  
  
"Damn right," said Ron.  
  
"Hi boys," said the stunningly beautiful green-eyed girl.  
  
Dean practically bowed at her feet as if she was a goddess. The green-eyed girl noticed the West Ham football shirt Dean was wearing and suddenly seemed VERY interested.  
  
"Do you fancy football?" she asked him keenly.  
  
"Um, yeah um love it. Muggle born are you?" Dean said very quickly.  
  
"Yeah I am actually. I have only come to school this year, parents are rich and fussy you see, when they found out I was a witch wanted us to be home schooled. But since they're divorced now my sister and I, Charity, have been sent to Hogwarts."  
  
"What about you?" Ron asked the drop dead gorgeous brown-eyed girl.  
  
"Oh, yeah pureblood actually. Father works at Ministry of Magic in Europe, Misuse of Muggle artifacts. He adores muggles. Just moved here from Europe you see. We are living in Northern Ireland. "  
  
A huge smile spread across Ron's face.  
  
"Sorry girls, didn't quite catch your names there," Dean said.  
  
"Oh, I'm Hayley. Hayley Goss. And you are?" she asked.  
  
"Oh, Dean Thomas."  
  
"I'm Megan Blee. Pleasure to meet you," she said thinking it WAS a pleasure to meet two stunning guys on her first day.  
  
"I'm Ron by the way. Ron Weasley."  
  
The four of them went back into the compartment all pleased with themselves. 


	2. sexy sortings

Disclaimer: Everything Harry Potter related is either the property of J.K Rowling or Warner Bros.  
  
Rated 'R' for language and sexual situations  
  
CHAPTER TWO  
  
SEXY SORTINGS  
  
As Megan, Hayley, her sister Charity and Jess stood with the first years they looked around at Hogwarts for the first time. And many interested boys were looking at them. They waited while a rather boring old teacher read through the names anticipating their own sorting.  
  
Suddenly, "Baan, Jessica."  
  
An attractive girl stepped forward with shiny chestnut hair. She sat down on the seat as the hat was placed on her head.  
  
"GRYFFINDOR!"  
  
The hat announced and everyone cheered.  
  
"Blee, Megan,"  
  
the stern teacher called. Ron sat up hopefully praying her to be in Gryffindor.  
  
"GRYFFINDOR!"  
  
There was lots of cheering, the loudest being by far Ron, grinning from ear to ear knowing tonight his dreams would be enjoyable.  
  
"Goss, Charity."  
  
The Great Hall watched as a tanned very attractive girl with extremely long legs stepped forward. The hat had barely touched one of her blonde hairs when it screamed out  
  
"HUFFLEPUFF!"  
  
"Dumb blonde," Hermione muttered from over at the Gryffindor table, as Charity walked back to the Hufflepuff table giggling for no apparent reason.  
  
"Goss, Hayley."  
  
The hottie from the train that Dean admired stepped gracefully forward and sat down, crossing her legs attracting many hopeful looks. As Dean announced proudly he had already met her on the train, and talked to her! Hayley was sorted into Gryffindor to Dean's liking. 


	3. Lets get together

Disclaimer: Everything Harry Potter related is either the property of J.K Rowling or Warner Bros.  
  
Rated 'R' for language and sexual situations  
  
CHAPTER THREE  
  
LET'S GET TOGETHER...RIGHT NOW (SING-SONG VOICE)  
  
The next morning there was a letter on the notice board inviting all who wish to try out for their house Quidditch teams to come along to trials tonight. Hayley learning all about Quidditch from home she thought she would try out. Megan said she would come to support her, and laugh if she fell off. Dean and Ron "overhearing" their conversation decided it would be best if they went too. Later that evening they were off. Ron just happened to find a seat next to Megan and sat down to watch the tryouts although his mind was far from tryouts. Ron getting up the courage asked if she liked Quidditch.  
  
"You're shy around girls aren't ya?" she asked with a cheeky grin.  
  
"Only ones I fancy," he said hopefully.  
  
"Does that mean you fancy me? Because I-"  
  
"You what? Do you fancy me too?"  
  
"Yeah," said Megan shyly.  
  
"Will um em you go out with me then?"  
  
"For the love of Merlin...DEFINITELY!"  
  
"Great!"  
  
"Um fancy a snog then?" Hayley looked over from warming up to see Megan and Ron on top of each other.  
  
"Gee, that was quick!" As she caught Dean's eye.  
  
Quidditch tryouts went quite fast and so did Ron, as it was now official that he was dating Megan, and she was an exceptionally good kisser. After tryouts, Hayley and Dean both making the team went their separate ways into the showers. As they left the Quidditch stadium Dean noticed Hayley's extremely short skirt and immediately ran over to her for a conversation.  
  
"You're a great flier," Dean said.  
  
"Yeah, you too," Hayley said.  
  
"Do you have a boyfriend?" Dean asked quietly.  
  
'Why? Do you? Just joking."  
  
"No. I don't. Lucky for you I'm single."  
  
"Good, I am also single and looking."  
  
"So do you wanna come with me to Hogsmeade sometime?"  
  
"Do I? I mean, yeah whatever." Dean reached out for Hayley's hand as they walked towards the castle.  
  
Back in the Gryffindor tower Hayley asked if they had met a fellow Gryffindor, Jess. They all greeted her warmly as she muttered a hello shyly.  
  
"So I see you two are going out? You were practically shagging in the Quidditch stands when I looked up," Hayley said with a smirk on her face.  
  
"So are you guys together too? If not, hurry up!" Megan said.  
  
"Don't worry, we are," she whispered, "he also has an amazing body! 10/10!"  
  
"Anyway we have the juiciest piece of gossip for you! We saw Ron and Megan KISSING IN THE STANDS!" Draco said excitedly.  
  
"We heard," Hayley said.  
  
"Oh! You wrecked our gossip!" said Draco.  
  
"Its okay honey, we'll find something else to do." Said Harry as they started running madly to Harry's dorm.  
  
"Anyway guys, guess what happened at Quidditch? I saw-" said Dean.  
  
Dean's sentence was cut short when Fred and Hermione entered, holding hands and giggling.  
  
"What?" said Ron being a bit slow while still staring at Megan.  
  
"That," said Dean pointing to Hermione and Fred. "Oh," said Ron, "no wait, Hermione and Fred? Ew! ...That's funny!"  
  
Meanwhile upstairs in Harry's bedroom Draco and Harry were having a slow, passionate kiss while their hands explored each other's muscly toned bodies. It wasn't long before one another had teared off each other's clothes. Harry's hands slid down to Draco's enormous surprise waiting for Harry. Draco moaned in pleasure as Harry rubbed Draco's penis. He slowly moved his kisses from Draco's mouth to pay more attention to down south. As Harry slowly took Draco in, Draco's shouts of  
  
"POTTER"  
  
were getting louder by the minute as Harry's talented tongue took Draco to the point. They cradled in each other arms and fell asleep. Not known to them that in the very next room Hermione and Fred were getting to know each other "better." 


	4. Quidditch the way it should be!

Disclaimer: Everything Harry Potter related is either the property of J.K Rowling or Warner Bros. Rated 'R' for language and sexual situations  
  
CHAPTER FOUR  
  
Quidditch, the way it should be.  
  
Everyone woke bright and early until the Gryffindors realised they had Potions with Snape. Snape had become even more of a git towards them since they have become friendly with Slytherins.  
  
"Potter I will have you sitting next to a girl, preferably Granger, no one could possibly be attracted to her," said Snape.  
  
"Well actually," Seamus started before Dean nudged him to shut up.  
  
"Today we will be making truth potions. The person, who makes the worst potion," he said looking directly at Neville, "will have to drink it in front of the whole class while we have a little entertainment."  
  
They all continued to make their potions until five minutes before the bell. Neville's, of course, was bright green while Jess' was red after Snape purposely dropped a newt eye in.  
  
"Well, it seems we have a new winner for who can make the worst potion in the class. While nearly every other potion was orange Jessica managed to make a red potion. Let's see what happens...Jess come up the front."  
  
Jess hesitantly got out of her seat and walked up the front taking the potion from Snape's hand.  
  
Well here goes nothing its not like he's going to ask who I like and it will only last half and hour, I think, Jess thought  
  
. She brought the glass to her lips and took a tiny sip of the red liquid.  
  
"Let's see what the result is. Miss Baan what do you think of me?" Snape asked.  
  
"You are a complete dickhead with greasy hair and we all know you find Harry extremely attractive which is why you constantly punish and harass him," said Jess quickly, she couldn't believe that had come out of her mouth.  
  
"I'll have you know MISS BAAN that Harry Potter is nothing more than a piece of scum I scrape off my shoe."  
  
Draco looked at Snape and gave one of his famous evil death glares while Harry just sat there, mouth open. Suddenly everyone hated Scumbag Snape and everyone was giving him Malfoy death glares, even Neville.  
  
At lunchtime Hermione was not to be seen until Fred asked where his gorgeous girlfriend was and started looking for her in the library. All through lunch Jess was mouthing off at Filch and Mrs. Norris and plotting evil schemes and pranks to pull off. Jess' truth potion had lasted a lot longer than expected and it didn't look like it was going to finish any time soon.  
  
It was early afternoon as Megan, Hayley, Jess and the rest of the Quidditch team and spectators walked towards the Quidditch stadium. Hayley, Jess, Dean, Harry and Ron went and got changed while Megan and Draco found a seat in the stands immediately starting up a conversation about fashion.  
  
"Those shoes totally bring out the colour of the Gryffindor scarf," complimented Draco.  
  
"Thanks. You and Harry know the latest trends," said Megan.  
  
"Well we're actually thinking about starting a 'Queer Eye for the Hogwarts Straight Guy.'"  
  
"Yeah I'm starting a girl's fashion club, some people need serious make overs, Millicent Bullstrode comes to mind." Draco giggled frantically.  
  
Just as Megan and Draco finished their conversation, Fred, George and Oliver entered the stadium. Everyone cheered as they announced themselves as the new Quidditch coaches.  
  
Jess whispered to Dean "who's that hot Scottish guy walking in now?"  
  
"My ears are burning and I can hear you!" Seamus muttered.  
  
Hayley flew over to Jess. "That's Oliver Wood, one of our new Quidditch coaches. Shut up Seamus, you know she is under influence from a truth potion. If you ask her one question that will embarrass her in front of everyone, I'll curse you so bad that you'll be knocked into next week!" Seamus flew away scared.  
  
Training began, and all that could be heard from the stands was Jess' insults towards every member in the team-except Oliver Wood of course. All through training, Oliver couldn't keep his eyes off Jess. He liked Jess' bitchy side and he had a funny tingling sensation in his pants.  
  
As training finished, Seamus was bursting to publicly humiliate Jess.  
  
"Hey Jess! Who do you have the hots for?" He giggled to himself. It was obvious. Jess looked over at Seamus.  
  
"Oliver Wood, crap, shouldn't have said that. He's soooo hot, shouldn't have said that either. I HATE SNAPE AND HIS POTION CLASS!"  
  
Her face turned red as Oliver looked up hopefully. Hayley chased Seamus out of the stadium with her wand out pointed at his...ahem. Seamus' little Irish ass had never ran so fast in his entire life. Jess and Oliver were left alone. Oliver looked at the floor nervously.  
  
"I'll ask you again tomorrow when the truth potion has worn off"  
  
Just to hope my dreams have come true.  
  
Jess didn't know what to say as Oliver offered to escort her back to the castle.  
* * * *  
  
Meanwhile, back in the Gryffindor bedrooms, loud noises were coming from Hayley and Dean's bed. The room was getting very hot and steamy. The windows were fogging up...a lot. At the same time, Megan and Ron lying in the lake outside together. Megan ran her fingers through Ron's orange hair. "Oh Ron" she said as they both slipped off their uniforms... 


	5. Dumbledores second side

Disclaimer: Everything Harry Potter related is either the property of J.K Rowling or Warner Bros. Rated 'R' for language and sexual situations  
  
CHAPTER FIVE Dumbledore's Second Side.  
  
The door burst open as Hagrid entered Dumbledore's office.  
  
"Dumbledore," Hagrid yelled, "There's been a disturbance in the Forbidden Forest. Five unicorns dead, wolves howling and a whisper, a whisper of distress seems to cry out from among the trees."  
  
Hagrid went on as Dumbledore rose his hand and said,  
  
"Patience Hagrid, follow me," said Dumbledore as they headed down the staircase in the entrance hall.  
  
As they walked out across the ground there were wolves howling that would send a shiver down any sane person's spine, but this was Dumbledore.  
  
"Stay here Hagrid, I will investigate." Dumbledore ran into the forest and the dark of night covered him.  
  
After two hours Dumbledore emerged with shattered glasses, a torn robe and an evil glint in his eyes.  
  
And that's the end of that chapter! (fling's scarf over neck) 


End file.
